Ziv: Hey, I’m Ziv and this is “On the Journey”. Every week “On the Journey” expose the intersections of wellness, spiritual inquiry, mental health, personal growth, and purposeful living through the eyes of the people we interview.

Kriti, I’d love to hear about your journey.

Kriti: Hello Ziv. How are you doing? So there’s a big hello to everyone out there. I am Kriti Kulshrestha. I am from India and I am working in Delhi. Basically, my hometown is the city of the Taj Mahal Agra.

To tell about myself, interesting question, I always love this because there’s a lot of things to share, primarily because I am born in a family of doctors and I was the first one to talk for commerce background and I was so unsure that where my journey will eventually take place. I’m an actor by profession and a passionate coach.

So basically to tell about me, I have been in this journey of coaching for more than two years now. It has been really, really helpful for me to help other people. How I probably reached into coaching field, just a glimpse into my life, when I was very small I have gone through a lot of things in my life. It was financial crisis and when I say crisis, there was a day when we did not have even trained rupees to buy a vegetable. When I see my health challenges, I had to skip my first term because of my bad health.

And then when I say bad relationship, I was really in such a turmoil that I did not believe in myself. The relationship with myself was at the worst, and even when I looked happiness outside, I was always treated or people were able to take advantage of me. So having come all through these rollercoaster ride, I was able to break through these challenges. I luckily, you know, what got trait, I did not went under depression, though obviously there were times when I felt very low.

I lost my mom when I was very young, and hence that was the time when I felt that when I am able to break through this talent, I am certain that many other people out there were facing similar challenges like me. Thier journey is unique, but the challenges might be similar. So how about coaching them, bringing a difference in the lives of people? So that is it about me.

Ziv: Wow Kriti. I feel like we went through the life story in two minutes.

Kriti: Thank you.

Ziv: It’s amazing. It’s really interesting because we hear about challenges, people face all kinds of challenges all the time, and it sounds like yours was really, really challenging. What is the turning point? What is there? Where is that place where you might have been broken or depressed, like you said, and everything would go even worse?

What is this turning point where you turn and you flip your life to the better? How do you do it?

Kriti:All right, that’s a very interesting question and probably I have many instances. If I will bring first instance in my life that is the most shattering, when I lost my mom and she was my confidant, my only cheerleader, I would say, and my best friend. And it was like I passed my age standard when it was a very wonderful time. She always used to cheer me up. It was just, you know, late at night at 2 AM, I suddenly heard and then, you know, I was so scared to even go to the room to see her. My heart was just sinking. And I knew that something is wrong. That time I knew that my mom is no more.

I cried, cried for days and days. I used to listen to the sad songs for days, and I used to cry like bucketful, I used to cry. But in fact, watching the flip, it was days when I used to feel there is no purpose in my life. There is no reason for me to live. And I used to really see God, probably if I can speak to my mother, or not live anymore. My health went so down that I was not able to even attend my school. I remember that after a certain time when I joined my college, one of my aunts told me that you need to join a practice, which is a life philosophy.

It is a positive thing because me and my father were the only two people. I joined it at a very casual reason. However, I think the positive side that my parents or like my father or relatives were no serious, nothing. They were not even thinking that whether I am sick or whether I’m happy, they were just concerned in their own lives. So that one mindset that my life is precious and whatever year goes my mom has not been able to live, let me live those years.

Because my mom and me resemble a lot. People who have seen my mother they say I’m her replica. So I felt that let me smile to her now, she hasn’t been alive, but it is my chance to bring her life to liveliness to me.

So that was a flip moment for me when I felt that she is down the years was always with me now or three time watching over me. So that was a shift in my mindset. And everyone around me changed when I embraced everyone. I had no friends in school. After my mom’s passing, I had so many friends that I have to change sit, my class sit, every period. So that is the shift in my mind with this moment made me.

Ziv: Wonderful.

So you found you found the reason, you found the reason that gave you motivation.

You chose life. And then what you actually doing day to day to make it happen?

Kriti: So whatever I’m doing into day to day life, especially if I cite an example of lockdown, the pandemic has been probably a downfall for many people. However, I have really moved my life from a statement, what I’ve wanted to do. First and foremost, I have never been a morning person. However, in the lockdown, I have started to get up by seven or even six o’clock in the morning doing my exercises regularly, yoga, meditation and chanting as well.

So that’s how I plan that I choose life in some positive ways because, you know, there are aspects which we flip. We go very down in life, especially when we are locked up in our houses because life is most important and we do not want to lose our life. But staying, becaus, you know, humans are social animals. So what happens is staying at home makes us so negative as if there is no life in us.

So keeping these three things, especially in the morning and even reading. So I read a lot of positive affirmations and positive quotations. And one thing I think that it’s not about just reading it and just leaving it that bit. I imbibe those things. For example,

So that is a quote by Dr. Daisaku Ikeda. So if I am implementing that quotation the entire day, I ensure that I am not going to feel that throughout the day. My action produces that strength.

So that is the kind of day I live each day. And mostly my weekends are also very productive. I reach out to my friends, video call them or probably go and take a walk with my parents. So that’s all my life revolves around. If someone helps, my clients or anyone who just reached out on a social media, I ensure that I give my time to them to see hope and clarity in their life.

Ziv: Wow. That’s really powerful because you took a quote and you made it. You also brought it into life. Many times we read a quote we just say, wow, what a wonderful quote. And after a minute it goes away. But you took a quote that you believe in it and you do live through it, right?

Kriti: Yes, indeed, it’s about imbibing the things which are happening to us. For example, if I’m talking to you today and if I find something very positive about you, I will ensure that I take that positivity back and how I can live that thing in my life as well. So that’s what I am.

Ziv: So you find the things that you connect to and feel that they’re positive and good and you try to like accedes to plant it inside of you and let them grow.

Kriti: Yes, indeed.

Ziv: And about your coachees, how do you help them? What is your thing? What is your one thing?

Kriti: My one thing is that this time, this phase is not your entire life. So what we do, we try to associate things from our past and we think that, OK, the life is going to be like this forever. Imagine if I had made a financial decision which went wrong, then I will be doomed. I will be tossing myself. I will say that I am incapable. So important thing is first to live life from the present moment.

So you, as you know, if I have a coachee, then I tell them that you need to disassociate from your past. It’s not about always associating. So we as humans associate a lot with other humans. Like someone said my neighbor’s husband gifted me like this or my friend gifted me this one so why are my birthday is such a bad one? Why only ten calls or two messages the entire day.

So most important is that you need to disassociate your life from the past instances and live in the present moment. It’s very easy to say and very difficult to do. So having said that, I mean that, you know, the easiest way probably to do it is live it. And when I say live, it is if I am doing something right now, then I need to disassociate that object that I have done something very negative in the last moment and if at that moment, if I am not convinced of my decisions, if my decisions are very not that great in the financial things, then it is important for me to reach a financial expert. We have people out there.

Why I’ll be just hesitate to go to them thinking, Oh, I am the best and then lined up, Oh, I did not do well, so fast does that. And second is

We won’t be a copy of someone or what they think that I can be. So if I am today thinking that yes, I can be an actress tomorrow, yes, I can be. It cannot be like a copy of someone. So that is how disassociating, finding your unique purpose and self-love, what we call these days, it’s a very, you know, used term. But this is the most important if you don’t fully understand and duly put it in our lives.

Ziv: Kriti I am sorry that I jumped in but you said two things that sound really, really simple. I think when we will be able to implement them, our lives will change. But they are so difficult. So one thing is being the present moment and sometimes disassociate from the past and I won’t ask you about that now because it’s a big thing, maybe some other time.

In the second thing you said, which is so simple, love yourself. Like we are with, we are born us and we will live with ourselves all the time. So just love yourself. And that’s also not simple for many people it’s so difficult. So give me like one hack, one thing that I can do daily that will help me to love myself more.

Kriti: One hack, wow, it’s an interesting question. All right, so there are times when anyone would find that I do not love myself and they don’t even thanks when I say that, Oh, I’m like, I’m putting on extra clothes. I’m at home, I’m eating too much food. So the best thing I know, which I do is I close my eyes and really focus my energies and think about the positive things which I have. And it can be anything.

Like for me it can be like, I’m very kind, loving, affectionate, friendly, I help people, and the way my body is so healthy. It is not about being fit. Most of the girls these days think that it is a figure which is to be maintained and that’s how they will look sexy.

Sexiness is your attitude, sexiness is your approach. Sexiness is your kindness towards each other and sexiness is your health.

So I think meditation or just focusing your energy when you take a deep breath in and out, you will eventually see that a lot of your energy are, kind of probably even long, you won’t be able to express a certain time the way you are feeling, you’re suppressing your feelings.

So it is very important to associate ourselves and why I see meditation as if, because when I chant also what happens is most of the times we are on digital media, we are on a tablet or laptop. So what happens, our screen time is too much. What we are doing is focusing our energies outside. So if we focus all our energy inside, even if I tell you to just keep your thumbs right and the left one just above it. So if you can do that, you can just see. Yeah, just like this. Perfect. And close your eyes only for 10 seconds. Only for ten seconds. You will see the difference. Let’s do that. And debreathe.

Yes.

Ziv: Wow

Kriti: So can you see the difference?

Ziv: Definitely.

Kriti: Yes, so you need to do it. What I’m conveying here is the hack is sounds very simple. You would be like, she’s like saying so simple things and it’s all like magic. But until you do it yourself, you will not find the difference. Meaning, if I have to come and see, you have to like, Kritu have to put Ziv’s hand, let me pull it and say, OK, you have to put it on your heart and you’ll be like, oh, I’m not doing it. So the hack is simple. Only it comes down to your, first is, willingness.

You were willing to do it. But you will like, no Kriti I don’t want to do. Let’s jump onto another question, it’s enough. The things would have been difficult, but you were able to experience it because you were willing you were willing to travel inside. And it is very simple. Eventually when you start doing it monthly and then two months after 60 days, definitely you will see a major shift in your life. I can bet on that.

Ziv: I can bet on that. You can close the door but we have to go through it. We have to do it.

Kriti: Yes.

Ziv: Kriti, thank you so much for this interview. Thank you for your time, experience. Thanks a lot for touching my heart. It was like, 10 seconds of breath were so powerful. So I want to thank you.

Kriti: Thank you